A few words on self-confidence + some strategies to re-gain it!
I feel I talk a lot about women and self-confidence. And this could do more harm than good. I don't want to fuel the stereotype of women being insecure little fools. They are NOT. If any, they are made insecure. The fact is that girls are still not taken seriously in many areas, they get talked over, they get "manterrupted" and what not. This is as a thing. It is real. And being exposed to these situations over and over again, it is no wonder that girls start to become self-conscious. Just like society expects them to be. The topic is complex. (It is one of my fave topics if you can't tell. ;))
Today I want to talk about strategies to re-gain and re-claim you self-confidence. (Yes, "re-" because, girl, you definitely weren't insecure by birth!)
Train yourself to say the first thing that comes to your mind out loud
Don't hesitate longer than 10 seconds. Really. I saw a TED talk on this. You literally have 10 seconds to say it out loud and if you don't, you missed your chance. Your brain will start to re-consider, re-formulate, re-vise and you end up not saying that thing out loud. For me, saying the first thing that comes to my mind OUT. LOUD. has been verrry verry difficult. It still is. I don't want to say something stupid. It has to be something intelligent, irrefutable. ...And all that bullshit. Like, no! Stop! Even if sometimes your remarks aren't the smartes or wittiest, this will still train you to speak up. And, believe me, generally, you first though will be the best.
Always try to speak a little louder than you normally would. Even louder than you think that it's apropiarte. You need to be heard! I remember that I literally never lifted my hand in uni to say something because I was afraid a) to say something stupid (*duh*) or b) that my voice would come out too weak and that the professor wouldn't even understand me. (Nightmare material right here.) So, I tried to force myself to speak louder. Always. So whenever I had to say something, I would be sure that my voice would come out loud and clear.
Go travel alone
Aaah, another favorite topic of mine. Take a bus, spend one afternoon in another town. Take a train, spend a weekend away. Take a plane, spend a month away. Whatever works for you. Don't be afraid. You'll be fine. Also, don't think about it too much. Do it. I promise you, you'll come back stronger and more confident. After all, you managed to do a lot of things on your own: take that train, find yourself a place to sleep, eat alone in a restaurant. And you did just fine!
Never wear flimsy shoes
Yes, I'm very serious about this. I'm a big believer in sturdy, comfortable shoes. Only these kind of shoes will make your steps strong and firm. Just like you want your personality to be. Really. If I wear uncomfortable shoes, I'm useless. I feel hurt and insecure and I most definitely can't take over the world. (And that's something we all want to do, right? Right? 👀)