Don’t be shy, girl! Speak up!
Duh, how f***ing tired I was of people telling me to speak more, to express myself. To not be so shy. Guess what: NOT. HELPFUL. So I helped myself.
This topic is so personal and complex for me, I don't even know where to start.
I’ve always been a very quirky and funny person with loads of opinions. (Lol, here you go.)
Problem was: almost no one knew it. My parents did. Some close friends. And that’s it.
What the f*** is wrong with me? When I was younger (i.e. up until 5 years ago), I had so much trouble showing my real personality and expressing my opinions among people I didn’t really feel safe with. And I hated myself for it. I hated that my voice got all soft, that I got quiet, insecure, not knowing what to say. Not sure what the correct thing was. I wanted to be liked. And that paralyzed me. I hated myself because I knew I wasn’t like that, at all. What the f*** was wrong with me?
Well, nothing, obviously. (And I got to that conclusion all by myself, without therapy!)
The one who lives a life without insecurities shall cast the first stone.
How I learned to open up After school, things began to change. I lived in South America for a year. I went back to Germany, to a different town, to uni. I started traveling on my own. (Click here if you want to read more about my experiences as a solo traveling girl!) I moved to Spain.
I started to be exposed to new and unknown situations, all the time. “Not feeling safe” was standard. I could either keep over-analyzing everything, feeling insecure and paralyzed or I could open my hand and let go of that fear. After all, I would never really know what those Brazilians expect of me. I could, as well, be myself. And ultimately, you’ll never know what other people want and think and feel. Untie that knot in your throat and speak up. You might touch someone’s heart.
A very wise Kiwi girl told me this when I was 21 and susceptible: “You never know what is going on in someone’s head.” Preach that! (Like, honestly. It is so simple, yet it changes everything. If you live by that, it will save you allot of anxiety!)
Copying confident girls helped! I’ve always been a great observer and copycat. I loved observing people (especially girls) that I found inspiring and, almost subconsciously, started to adopt certain behaviors, certain language I admired on them. I copied them. I still do. Copying is awesome and one of the main things that drives humanity forward! (Told ‘ya I’m full of wonderful and weird opinions.)
Really, no shame on that. Go out there and observe cools girls. Copy whatever feels empowering to you.