2 things that will make you feel more confident. Instantly!
Welcometo the first instalment of ADELE’S POWER GIRLS SQUAD! (aka Adele's PGS. Which sounds almost like PMS. Which is almost kinda cool.)
I thought really hard about how to start off this weekly series.
You know how non-fiction books explain you the very basics in their first chapters? Like a book on “Leading with cultural intelligence as an expat in Hong Kong” would start with “What is culture?” / ”What is intelligence?”. But fuck that, this is a blog. This is my blog. I won’t start this thing with “What is a girl?” (Although the question is kinda interesting. I actually might get back to that at some point.)
Anyway. I will jump right in.
One thing I’ve been thinking of and really paying attention to in the past few years is how I occupy space. Yeah, that sounds weird. But bear with me.
1. Don't dodge. I noticed that I tend to get out of people’s way when I walk. I literally walk in slalom. I dodge, I evade. Actually, I didn’t even notice it. My boyfriend did. And this is when I realised that he never does it. And I always do it. (Is this a gender thing?) So, I decided I wouldn’t dodge, anymore. The others should. And it was the weirdest feeling. I have such a deep instinct of being the one who literally gives way to the other person that I had the hardest time not doing it. And then it felt sooo good to see that others would dodge. And I was in control. I had power. Honestly, try it.
2. Don't shrink. And of course: when it comes to occupying space, manspreading has been all over the internet, lately. Thank God that we finally talk about this. And it doesn’t even have to be asshole men in the subway occupying three seats (one for the torso and one for each leg). It’s really also about how men sit on a chair having breakfast, in a meeting room, on a sofa, anywhere. How confidently they spread their bodies. And how all teeny tiny women become by crossing their legs and their arms. They shrink themselves. They give way. I try not to cross my legs, ever. (It is also really bad for your health!) This feeling of sitting with your legs apart, grounded, secure, owning it. Best feeling ever!! No, it does not look very ladylike. Fuck ladylike! I slay!