How I overcame low self-esteem
In 2009, straight after uni, I came to beautiful Majorca, Spain (see picture above). What can possibly go wrong in this setting? Well, everything.
I basically threw myself into a situation that couldn't have been harder: I decided to start my "real" life, my professional life, my adult life -whatever you want to call that dark thing that comes after school - in an entirely unknown environment. On top of this, I found myself in my first real relationship. (The lucky guy has now been my boyfriend for almost 7 years!!) But back then, I was confused, I didn't feel "good enough" for him or "interesting enough". I was lost and vulnerable.
I wanted to fit in. I wanted to fit in in this goddamn country and in my boyfriends' group of friends - for whom, again, I just didn't feel "cool enough"-. It was a weird time. I wasn't really used to struggle with self-doubt and low self-esteem. But certain situations can trigger these emotions. And this situation certainly did. I remember walking the streets and feeling that the slightest breeze could literally blow me over. I felt fragile and insecure. I cried allot. Like, allot.
How did I overcome it? I moved to Berlin for a couple of months.
So, my advice would be to move to Berlin for period of time. Lol, just kidding.
My advice is to get rid of what is toxic for you.
For me, this was definitely the combination of trying to fit in a new country and new social groups and, at the same time, having to figure out adult life. So I got rid of one of the components. I went back to my home country to figure out adult life. Things were (emotionally) easier in Germany. I felt more stable. A breeze couldn't blow me over, any more. And hey, I kinda felt like going back to Majorca. I missed it. I was ready for it. Berlin served its purpose and it was time to leave. Berlin healed me.
Life is complex. A lot of little things piled up and made me drown. It wasn't that one big thing. But just one one change, one bold move, made all the difference.
I realised -as cheesy as it sounds - that I am enough. I am cool enough and interesting enough and all that. And more. I felt safe. I felt secure. I still do.