Why "finding your style" is a big lie
I know, I know. Especially when you’re younger, you’re super eager for someone to tell you 5 infallible steps to figure out your style. (And with “you” I totally mean my 15-year-old self.) I remember that, at some point, I decided that my style would be all sleek, neutral colors. Then, I realized this style didn’t quite fit me. I discovered my love for sweaters with fun prints on them. So, I decided none of the sleek basics would fit into my new & true style and I would need a completely new wardrobe. After getting sick of my casual sweater look, I decided that the true me loves feminine floral clothes. I had to get rid of all those casual boyish pieces and buy feminine clothes only. (Yeah, my parents weren’t very happy about my quest for style.)
It took me quite some time to understand that there isn’t such thing as “your style”. It just seems a little silly to define a style, dumbly stick to it and discard all the fun fashion pieces you'd like to wear, but you don't because they don't fit "your style”.
I have many styles. Style isn’t one rigid thing. I can own neutral basics, floral dresses and band t-shirts and it is totally fine. These styles all reflect parts of my personality. My wardrobe doesn’t have to be uniform and unalterable. I know that not all of my clothes go together well. But I refuse to make myself slave to an idea. I don’t want my style to be something defined. Or worse, that defines me. That limits me.
And most importantly: style changes, it evolves. Stop putting it in a box. Don’t lock it down.
Let it flow, let it roam free.
I think if we all obsessed less about a curated style and just picked up pieces we genuinely enjoy, we would just all very naturally have true and authentic style. Effortlessly. (As they say.)