Be inconsistent. Change. Be free.


Back in the early 2000s, when you asked us young folks what we valued most in life, we would say freedom. Nothing seemed more important than being free. Free to move, to think the weirdest thoughts and to make choices off the beaten path. I'm in my early thirties now (which is still, like, really really young. I'm sure Mindy Lahiri would agree with me.) And blogs are flooded with 20-year-olds complaining about the lack of commitment, of reliability and steadiness.

So I'm now gonna tell you why this is all bullshit.

Okay, it is not all bullshit. Like, I get it. #fomo might be bigger than in a pre-social-media age (although I would disagree) and you don't want to be surrounded by friends who abandon you for the next hot thing. You want people to stick around when you need them.

Still and still: if someone asked me now what I value most in life, I would probably still say freedom. Especially now that I'm in my thirties.

And, again, by freedom I don't mean freedom to act like an asshole.

I mean freedom to be. I still want to think the weirdest thoughts and be free to express them. I still want to be free to NOT marry, to NOT have kids, if this is my choice. And I want to be f***ing free to cancel last minute on your stupid barbeque if I don't feel like going there. (Social) responsibilities are a much bigger thing now than in my twenties. People start to do things they don't really want because it is "expected". I get it. I do them. But still, but sill, the utmost important thing is to keep your mind open, to keep your mind free and light. Let it fly.

Do NOT do things just because you are expected to. Or because you always used to do them. Or because you used to like them. You are allowed to change. You are allowed to stop doing things. To start doing other things. Your are allowed to disappoint a friend. Because you will always disappoint someone if you change.

Steadiness does not exist. The security you want from it does not exist.

I honestly believe that we live in the best moment of history ever. I'm serious. You're reminiscent of the good old times when a woman and a man lived happily ever after, didn't get divorced because they were so committed to each other and worked really hard on their relationship? Bullshit. Back then, women were basically housewives and had no income. Divorce was probably forbidden, anyway. Or, at least, heavily condemned by society.

A society that values commitment to the status quo is no good. We shouldn't value steadiness so much.

Let's value inconsistency. Let's value change.

It's the only way forward.